Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
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