Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
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