What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
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