Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
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