Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Goat milk?
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
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