What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
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