What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
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