What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
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