What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
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