What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
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