Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
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