What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
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