Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
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