Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
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