Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
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