Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
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