What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
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