The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
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