Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
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