How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
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