How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
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