What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
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