Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
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