According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
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