One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
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