Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
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