What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
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