What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.