How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
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