How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
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