How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
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