Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
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