What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
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