What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
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