What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
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