What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
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