What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
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