What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
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