What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
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