Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
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