Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
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