What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
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