What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
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