Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
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