What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
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