What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
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