What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
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