Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
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