How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
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