What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
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