Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
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