Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
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