If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
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