How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
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