How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
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