Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
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