Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
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