Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
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