What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
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