What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
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