What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
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