Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
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