Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
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