Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
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