What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
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