Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Go to BabaMail
