Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
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