What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
I like you, you croc my world.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
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