Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
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