What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
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