Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
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