In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
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