Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
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